## 2. PHYSICS

#### Subsections

- 2. physics - general
- 2.1 physics poetry
- 2.2 physics quotes
- 2.3 physics puns
- 2.4 pseudo physics (cat physics, cartoon physics)
- 2.5 new physical theories
- 2.6 learning physics
- 2.7 not learning physics (featuring Heavy Boots)
- 2.8 physical proofs
- 2.9 physical one-liners
- 2.10 quantum mechanics (starring Schroedingers cat!)
- 2.11 relativity
- 2.12 measure the height of a building with help of a barometer
- 2.13 physicists
- 2.14 astronomy
- 2.15 electrons
- 2.16 electro-magnetism and light
- 2.17 Newtons's laws and classical dynamics
- 2.18 thermodynamics
- 2.19 in the lab
- 2.20 strange but real findings
- 2.21 the buttered bread on cat problem

### 2.9 PHYSICAL ONE-LINERS

Index | Comments and Contributions | previous page

physics
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    tag-line on usenetmessages:
    This message was written entirely with recycled electrons.

physics
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    From:         "Neuro" <nmancer@gil.com.au>
    I can travel through time and I do ... at the unremarkable rate of one
    second per second.

physics
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    From: Ian Ellis <ian@iglou.com>
    The speed of time is one second per second.

mathematics physics
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    From: shhong@chiak.kaist.ac.kr (Hong Seongho)

    Theoretical Physics is a science locally isomorphic to Mathematics.

physics
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    Special Category: Niels Bohr
    Special Category: Werner Heisenberg
    Bohr moved in atomic circles while Schrodinger waved and Heisenberg
    hesitated.

physics
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    From: Ian Ellis <ian@iglou.com>
    A rolling stone gathers momentum.

physics
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    From: Tim.Nelson@Canada.ATTGIS.COM (list of Old * Never Die, they just)

    Special Category: Old scientists never die...
    OLD ASTRONAUTS never die, they just go to another world
    OLD ATOMS never die, they just decay
    OLD LASER PHYSICISTS never die, they just become incoherent
    OLD METEORS never die, they just burn up
    OLD NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS never die, they just go off-line
    OLD PLANETS never die, they just lose their attraction
    OLD THERMODYNAMICISTS never die, they just achieve their state -
                          - of maximum entropy

physics
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    From: marcus@mwbrooks.com
    Someday I'll get a bumper sticker that says:

    GRAVITY IS A DOWNER

    But I guess it's more accurate to say "Gravity is _the_ downer."

physics
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    From: joeshmoe@world.std.com (Jascha Franklin-Hodge)
    (List of Taglines)

    Plasma is another matter.
    Interstellar Matter is a Gas
    It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim!
    "Apple" (c) 6024 b.c., Adam & Eve
    "Apple" (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
    "The faster you go, the shorter you are" - Einstein
    A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
    And God said: E = +mv^2 - Ze^2/r ...and there *WAS* light!
    All that glitters has a high refractive index.
    Black Holes are Out of Sight
    Black Holes were created when God divided by zero!
    Black holes really suck...
    The Universe is a big place... perhaps the biggest
    The Hubbell works fine; all that stuff IS blurry!
    Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
    Friction can be a drag sometimes.
    Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
    Gravity:  Not just a good idea...it's the LAW.
    How many weeks are there in a light year?
    Jet Engine Theory -Suck, Squeeze, Bang, Blow!
    Power corrupts, but we need electricity.
    Resistance Is Useless!   (If < 1 ohm)
    Supernovae are a Blast

physics
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    From: Chris Morton   (mortoncp@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu)
    do it collection

    From:Joao Batista(fbatista@cc.fc.ul.pt), rgep@pmms.cam.ac.uk (Richard Pinch)

    Special Category: Scientists do it...
    Acoustics do it like Doppler.
    Acoustics do it orally.
    Acoustics do it with sounds.
    Cryogenic physicists do it on the cold.
    Cryogenic physicists do it on the ice.
    Cryogenic physicists do it with a cold.
    Dyslexic Particle Physicists do it with hadrons.
    Electron microscopists do it 100,000 times.
    Fluid dynamicists do it in jets.
    Fluid dynamicists do it in the bath.
    Fluid dynamicists do it in vortices.
    Heisenberg was never sure whether or not he did it.
    Opticians do it visually.
    Opticians do it with their eyes.
    Particle physicists do it energetically.
    Particle physicists do it expensively.
    Physicists do it a quantum at a time.
    Physicists do it at two places in the universe at one time.
    Physicists do it attractively.
    Physicists do it energetically.
    Physicists do it in black holes.
    Physicists do it in waves.
    Physicists do it like Einstein.
    Physicists do it magnetically.
    Physicists do it on accelerated frames.
    Physicists do it particularly.
    Physicists do it repulsively.
    Physicists do it strangely.
    Physicists do it up and down, with charming color, but strange!
    Physicists do it with black bodies
    Physicists do it with charm.
    Physicists do it with large expensive machinery.
    Physicists do it with rigid bodies.
    Physicists do it with string and sealing-wax.
    Physicists do it with Tensors.
    Physicists do it with the help of an absolute Bohr (ouch!).
    Physicists do it with their vectors.
    Physicists do it with uniform harmonic motion.
    Physicists get a big bang.
    Physics majors do it at the speed of light.
    Plasma physicists do it with everything stripped off.
    Quantum mechanics do it in leaps.
    Quantum theorists do it in tiny tiny pieces.
    Quantum theorists do it uncertainly.
    Spectroscopists do it until it hertz.
    Spectroscopists do it with frequency and intensity.
    Vacuum physicists do it in voids.

physics
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    Formula:    "Energy equals milk chocolate square"

physics
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    From: nbuchana@gpu.srv.ualberta.ca (Norm)

    A probability is a desperate attempt of chaos to become stable.

physics
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    Special Category: Werner Heisenberg
    Heisenberg might have slept here.

physics
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    <dnichols@d-and-d.com>  Donald Nichols (DoN.):
            --- Black Holes are where God is dividing by zero ---

physics
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    From: dcp@alpha.sunquest.com (Dave Peterson)

    If the Titanic had struck a Heisenberg, would it still be floating?

physics
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    From: egreen@nyc.pipeline.com (Edward Green)

    All coordinate systems are equal, but some are more equal than others.

physics
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    From: c1prasad@watson.ibm.com (prasad)

    Entropy isn't what it used to be...

physics
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    From: "Ted Smith" <tcsmith@calweb.com>
    A day without fusion is like a day without sunshine.

physics
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    From: "Jay Billings" <jay.billings@verizon.net>

    What did the neutrino say to the earth
    "just passing through"

physics
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    From: <elizabethblosser@sbcglobal.net>
    3x10^8 m/s... its more than just a good idea, its the law

next page | Index | Comments and Contributions

#### Subsections

- 2. physics - general
- 2.1 physics poetry
- 2.2 physics quotes
- 2.3 physics puns
- 2.4 pseudo physics (cat physics, cartoon physics)
- 2.5 new physical theories
- 2.6 learning physics
- 2.7 not learning physics (featuring Heavy Boots)
- 2.8 physical proofs
- 2.9 physical one-liners
- 2.10 quantum mechanics (starring Schroedingers cat!)
- 2.11 relativity
- 2.12 measure the height of a building with help of a barometer
- 2.13 physicists
- 2.14 astronomy
- 2.15 electrons
- 2.16 electro-magnetism and light
- 2.17 Newtons's laws and classical dynamics
- 2.18 thermodynamics
- 2.19 in the lab
- 2.20 strange but real findings
- 2.21 the buttered bread on cat problem

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