## 4. BIOLOGY

#### Subsections

- 4. biology - general
- 4.1 biology poetry
- 4.2 biology quotes
- 4.3 biology puns
- 4.4 cloning
- 4.5 biochemistry
- 4.6 evolution
- 4.7 mice and rats
- 4.8 cell biology
- 4.9 bacteria

### 4.4 CLONING

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biology
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    From: Aliquotes v.iv (journal) (rogerb@microsoft.com)
    (Begin 1997, the first cloning of a sheep was announced.  The sheep was
    called Dolly, because she was cloned from breast tissue. - JV)

                                EWE GOT THAT RIGHT
    With the recent events in Scotland, we are saddened to announce that the
    mamalian male of each and every population has just taken an evolutionary
    step backward.  After eons of enlarging anatomical development, to deal
    with harsh environments such that the female may brood in safety and
    security, a human male has now started us down the road to where our half
    of the species is obsolete.  Just as the Western females of the species
    were discovering the early mortality and rampant disease that had largely
    been the male domain, they have now been introduced to a system whereby
    much of their stress can be alleviated through the removal of the male
    population from the gene pool.  FBI agent Clarissa would have been happy to
    see these events unfold in a story that can only be termed

                              THE SILENCE OF THE RAMS

biology
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    From: jmbay@leland.Stanford.EDU (Joseph Michael Bay)

    Newsgroups: news:sci.chem.analytical, news:alt.religion.kibology

    "M. Otis Beard" <movinghand@geocities.com> writes:

    >  I'm glad you asked that question, Sarah.  It reminds me of the time that
    >my father and I had a conversation regarding just this issue.  My father was
    >a self-made man in the truest sense of the word; he educated himself, built
    >his fortune on strict principles of hard work and integrity, and never once
    >tried to get ahead by slinging mud or stabbing somebody else in the back.

    That's interesting, because my father was a self-made man in the
    truest sense of the word.  He enucleated an egg cell from a donor,
    micro-injected a nucleus from one of his own pluripotent stem cells,
    and implanted it in a psuedopregnant female goat.  After gestation, he
    delivered himself and educated himself.  Of course his fortune was
    largely willed to him by himself, but he had made that before, so it
    was okay.  And to this day, he prides himself on his integrity, his
    compassion, and his ability to eat tin cans.

biology
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    From: Aliquotes v.iv (journal) (rogerb@microsoft.com)
    New Scotland Bovine Labs
                                    COW SYSTEM:
                      Transgenic protein purification system

                                Instruction Manual

    Introduction to Cow System(TM):
    The Cow cloning system is an advanced protocol for the purification of
    recombinatn proteins from lactating bovine species.  The system is more
    reliable than current sheep cloning methods, requires less starting
    material, is less expensive and will not cause public controversy when the
    press get holds of it.

    1) Description:
    The Cow System(TM) is the most powerfull system for the cloning and
    expression of recombinat protein.  Target genes are cloned in clow plasmids
    under control of the bovine serum albumin promotor.  The desired product
    can comprise more than 10% (50kg) of the animal after a few hours of
    fermentation, in inclusion bodies.

    2) Host for cloning:
    Suitable cows for cloning include the Cowalbi, which are albino, and allows
    the black/white screening for the library when plated on the suitable field
    spread with X-Grass(TM) (GG) selective medium.  Note that the Scottish
    Highland Cows (SHC) are more sensitive to the heat shock transformation.

    3) Preparation of the medium:
    You need a very, very big flas (two million liters), a very, very big
    shaker and a clothes peg for your nose.  The growth medium, "Cow Dip" or
    C.D. broth, is made from @m grass, 0.5M hay supplement, 0.2mM ice cream
    (vanilla flavour), pH7.2.  An oxygen carrier, such as myoglobin, can be
    added to increase growth and prevent drowning.  Alternatively, Farmer
    Seah(R) provide bovine aqualungs for growth in liquid media.  Always,
    autoclave the medium in order to kill scrapie prions.

    4) Transformation:
    You need alt least 12kg of plamid, a vet and a big swimming pool at 37C and
    a sauna at 42C. It is possible to use the FarmerKit(TM) from Farmer
    Seah(R).  Supercompetent Cowalbi calves are provided with the kit.
    Recently, a protocol derived from Maniatis has been described by Jersey et
    al. (1996) using Brute Force(TM) on mature bovine.

    a- Place the cows in a room on ice and mix gently to assure that the cows
    are in good shape.
    b- Add 2kg of plasmid directly in each cow using a clean glove.  Rotate
    gently to mix.
    c- Place cows on ice for 30 minutes.
    d- Heat shock the cows by placing them in the sauna at 42C for exactly 40
    seconds.  Do not vortex; the cows will break the mixer.
    e- Place the cows in a cold room for 2 minutes.
    f- Add two million liters of GG medium.
    g- Incubate the cows at 37C with shaking in Earthquake zone for one hour
    and spread the cows on a green field(*).  Note that premade libraries are
    available from Cowtech (Cambridge).

    5) Expression:
    a- To start the culture, add two tonnes of transformed cows (0.25 vol. of
    total bovine prep (TBP)) in the liquid culture (figure 1)
    b- Incubate with shaking the culture at 37C until OD_600 of the supernatant
    reaches 0.8.
    c - The cows could be separated by decantation using a shepherd and his
    dog, by gentle centrifugation (5g) of filtration (filter, 1m).
    d- Lyse by osmotic shock in 2M Chocolate Syrup(**) or with three medium
    shrapnel devices.  Atomic weapons are not advised.  Note that English cows
    are very resistant to lysis.  It is possible to use a French Press.
    e- Purify the product using normal procedures.  For enhanced purification,
    use the Cow-Lyse Kit(TM).

    6) Cloned gene expression in Cow System(TM)
    The plasmid included with this kit is the new pBSE, the Bovine System
    Expression plasmid.  Other Cow-based expression systems can be used but may
    not over-express to the same extent.
    When cloning chimaeric gene constructs, remember to use Cowalbi which are
    missing the gene coding for the restriction enzyme BDNA I.  Cowalbi are
    also immunosuppressed to aid expression of hideously deforming genes.

    If gene products are poor, try the Rhino Kit(TM).  This incorporates a
    grey/white selection procedure to replace the Blue Whale Kit(TM), which has
    been discontinued due to poor yields and international pressures.

    (*) Single cloned cows could be stored as frozen at -80C or in a field in
    Greenland.
    (**) Note that the use of chocolate syrup osmotic shock can lead to
    milkshake production in certain bovine species.
    (***) pMooscript can be used instead for lower expression levels.
    figure 1: Fermentation conditions (Cows floating in a BIG erlenmeyer)

    Related products:
    New Scotland Bovine Labs Mootagenesis(TM) kit
    New Scotland Bovine Labs Cow-Lyse(TM) kit for release of inclusion bodies
    from bovine and udder sources.
    The Cow System is covered by Scottish patent. _For research use only._

biology
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    From: Aliquotes v.iii (journal) (rogerb@microsoft.com)
                               WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE

    Not to be outdone by their Highland brethren and Dolly, the Andean
    Association for Animal Science has recently announced the results of their
    most stunning achievement to date.  Following on the heels of the nuclear
    tranplantation experiments which generated a cloned sheep, a group of
    Chilean researchers have used the technology of embryo fusions to generate
    the world's first Pushme-Pullyou, famed from the many novels of the
    adventures of Dr. Doolittle.  This creature has the forelimbs and heads of
    two individuals at opposite ends.  Due to the genesis of this animal, the
    Chilean group regrets that Butthead, as he is affectionately known, lacks
    any reproductive organs.  Needless to say, Butthead is a very sad and bored
    animal.

    The same group was rather evasive about the results of the other half of
    the embryonic fusion experiments and there is an unconfirmed report that
    the other creature escaped from its pen and was last seen running for
    political office in Canada.

biology
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    From: Aliquotes v.iv (journal) (rogerb@microsoft.com)

                              PANIC IN THE HIGHLANDS
    A reprint of some articles in newsgroups similar to the cloning debate.

    Excerpted from the bio.plants.monk newsgroup:
    "I say to you all that we must stop the insanity before it is too late.
    What our Brother Gregor has been doing recently in the rectory garden is
    sacrilegious and dangerous for the general population.  I mean, what
    self-respecting Brother of the cloth would stoop, literally and
    figuratively, to determine the colour and texture of peas?  Can he not see
    where this will lead?  Next thing you know, he will be doing experiments
    with chickens and horses.  And from there, chaos.  If the good lord had
    wanted these plants to mate, he would have made them all one colour...  I
    imagine a beige of a nice taupe.  There is a reason that these peas are a
    different colour and texture and that is because God said it should be so
    and we should stop Brother Gregor before he brings His wrath down on us."

    Excerpted from the sci.chem.h-bond newsgroup:
    "I'm telling you that this recent discovery by Drs. Watson and Crick will
    be the end of us all.  Now that they have elucidated the structure of DNA,
    there is no end to what some crackpot can do with this technology.  Think
    of it.  If this really is the stuff that makes us what we are, what is to
    prevent the crazies from looking further at it and finding out that we're
    not all that different after all.  Not that I'm e prejudiced, you all
    understand, but it would be the end of civilization to find out that 'l
    share the same basic coding sequence with people like Siam and Rhodesia.
    It just would't do, you see.  And heaven forbid that they find this out.
    They might expect to be treated like us, and we certainly can't have that.

biology
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    From: Stan Kegel <kegel@fea.net>
    Los Angeles Times, 02/17/02:
       Dr. Vincent Beraid, an expert in designer genes, specialized in creating
    large animals for meat production. Dr. Beraid's death occurred during the
    development of a hog weighing over two tons. Dr. Beraid used almost eighty
    gorilla clones trained to carry out the mundane daily tasks of caring for
    this brute, who looked remarkably like Jabba the Hut.
      One of the complicating factors in caring for this beast was his terrible
    bad breath. After feeding, It was necessary for several of the apes to
    force over 100 Chlorets down his throat before anyone could go into the
    lab. On the day of the doctor's death, one of the gorillas spilled the
    breath freshener tablets onto the floor.
      The doctor became enraged and began beating the poor ape. His brothers
    rioted and pandemonium ensued. It was four days before the police could
    enter the area with hermetically sealed Caterpillar bulldozers. Portions of
    Dr. Beraid's remains were DNA fingerprinted from wall and ceiling residue.
      The police report summarizing the event states, ... "Seventy-six strong
    clones fed the pig Beraid with a hundred and ten Chorets close at hand."
    (By Stan Kegel)

    For non-americans:
    This is a play on the words of the most popular song from another American
    musical, "The Music Man" where the words go: "Seventy-six trombones led the
    big parade, with a hundred and ten clarinets close in hand." The song
    describes a school marching band leading a parade down Main Street.

next page | Index | Comments and Contributions

#### Subsections

- 4. biology - general
- 4.1 biology poetry
- 4.2 biology quotes
- 4.3 biology puns
- 4.4 cloning
- 4.5 biochemistry
- 4.6 evolution
- 4.7 mice and rats
- 4.8 cell biology
- 4.9 bacteria

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