## 2. PHYSICS

#### Subsections

- 2. physics - general
- 2.1 physics poetry
- 2.2 physics quotes
- 2.3 physics puns
- 2.4 pseudo physics (cat physics, cartoon physics)
- 2.5 new physical theories
- 2.6 learning physics
- 2.7 not learning physics (featuring Heavy Boots)
- 2.8 physical proofs
- 2.9 physical one-liners
- 2.10 quantum mechanics (starring Schroedingers cat!)
- 2.11 relativity
- 2.12 measure the height of a building with help of a barometer
- 2.13 physicists
- 2.14 astronomy
- 2.15 electrons
- 2.16 electro-magnetism and light
- 2.17 Newtons's laws and classical dynamics
- 2.18 thermodynamics
- 2.19 in the lab
- 2.20 strange but real findings
- 2.21 the buttered bread on cat problem

### 2.18 THERMODYNAMICS

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physics
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    Three Laws of Thermodynamics (paraphrased):
    First Law:  You can't get anything without working for it.
    Second Law: The most you can accomplish by work is to break even.
    Third Law:  You can't break even.

    From: John Vinson <74222.2372@CompuServe.COM>
    Ginsberg's Theorem (The modern statement of the three laws of thermodynamics)
    1. You can't win.
    2. You can't even break even.
    3. You can't get out of the game.
    4.   THE LAW OF ENTROPY:
       The perversity of the universe tends towards a maximum.

    "Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's Theorem:

            "Every majoy philosophy that attempts to make life seem
    meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg's Theorem.
    To wit:
    "1.  Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.
    "2.  Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even.
    "3.  Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game."

    From R.J.ABBOTT@dundee.ac.uk
    Since using the paraphrased laws of thermodynamics in my .sig  the
    following additions have been sent to me
    From: potweed@calvados.apana.org.au (Bernard Booth)

    First Law:      You can't bet unless you play.
    Second Law:     The most you can hope for is to break even.
    Third Law:      You can't break even.
    Fourth Law:     Once you're born, you can't even get out of the game!

    From: N.P.Whittington (N.P.Whittington@spps.hull.ac.uk)

    Parodies of the laws of thermodynamics, in a science text book.
    1. You can't win, you can only break even.
    2. You can only break even at absolute zero.
    3. You can never reach absolute zero.

physics
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    From:         norman69@FeHmkRGbRIWg.com
    THE LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS for Sanitation Engineers
    0th:            There is shit.
    1st:            You can't get rid of it.
    2nd:            It gets deeper.
    3rd:            A nice, empty trashcan is wishful thinking.

    KEEP SHOVELING!!

physics
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    From: Matt Savage <matt.savage@dti.npl.co.uk>

    "The Fourth Law of Thermodynamics: Watt's Pots Never Boyle".
    "The Fifth Law of Thermodynamics: Things Get Worse Under Pressure".

physics
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    From: Ian m Hodge <imhodge@yahoo.com>

    Bumper sticker about the 2nd Law of thermodynamics:

    S happens

physics
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    From: David Shan Hill Wong <dshwong@che.nthu.edu.tw>
    Once I heard:
    There are three things you do not discuss with your friends

    Politics
    Religion
    Thermodynamics

    My reaction?  They are all beliefs

physics
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    From: "Ted Smith" <tcsmith@calweb.com>
    1st Law of Thermodynamics: Go to class!!

physics
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    From: "Ted Smith" <tcsmith@calweb.com>
    1st law of Thermodynamics: Don't play with matches.

physics
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    From: brom@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (David Bromage)
    Statistical mechanics is for physicists who find drains too exciting.

physics
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    From: Erik Reuter (eer36024@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu)
    Ludwig Boltzmann, who spent much of his life studying statistical
    mechanics, died in 1906, by his own hand. Paul Ehrenfest, carrying on the
    work, died similarly in 1933. Now it is our turn to study statistical
    mechanics. Perhaps it will be wise to approach the subject cautiously.
       -- David L. Goodstein [ _States of Matter_ ]

next page | Index | Comments and Contributions

#### Subsections

- 2. physics - general
- 2.1 physics poetry
- 2.2 physics quotes
- 2.3 physics puns
- 2.4 pseudo physics (cat physics, cartoon physics)
- 2.5 new physical theories
- 2.6 learning physics
- 2.7 not learning physics (featuring Heavy Boots)
- 2.8 physical proofs
- 2.9 physical one-liners
- 2.10 quantum mechanics (starring Schroedingers cat!)
- 2.11 relativity
- 2.12 measure the height of a building with help of a barometer
- 2.13 physicists
- 2.14 astronomy
- 2.15 electrons
- 2.16 electro-magnetism and light
- 2.17 Newtons's laws and classical dynamics
- 2.18 thermodynamics
- 2.19 in the lab
- 2.20 strange but real findings
- 2.21 the buttered bread on cat problem

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