## 1. MATHEMATICS

#### Subsections

- 1. mathematics - general
- 1.1 proofs
- 1.2 statistics and statisticians
- 1.3 mathematicians
- 1.4 mathematics poetry
- 1.5 mathematics quotes
- 1.6 mathematic puns
- 1.7 mathematical terms
- 1.8 mathematical exams
- 1.9 learning mathematics
- 1.10 mathematical tests to take
- 1.11 mathematical equations
- 1.12 topology
- 1.13 numbers
- 1.14 set theory
- 1.15 functions

### 1.9 LEARNING MATHEMATICS

Index | Comments and Contributions | previous page

mathematics
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    Special Category: Top Reasons

#### TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING THE MATH HOMEWORK

####

- 1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
- 2. Isaac Newton's birthday.
- 3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
- 4. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
- 5. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
- 6. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
- 7. I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
- 8. I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.
- 9. I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
- 10. I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.

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    From: Leon@MOR.com (Leo & Mary)

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 20:19:41 PDT

(I am not sure if this advertisement is for real, but it is certainly worthwhile for this list - JV)

Dear fellow parent!

This message is for you and the children around you.

What is more valuable for you and your child: a lollypop, a bagful of plastic stuff in a party favor, a box of mints or a meaningful and enjoyable half-hour with your loved one? Either one will cost you about the same - one dollar.

Are you aware of the depressing statistics of recent international science contests for school children? Do you know that American children regularly score very poorly (to say the least) in basic quizzes, failing to provide adequate answers to simple questions like "When does your mom put more pressure on the floor: when she wears high and thin heels or low and thick ones?" Does it concern you?

If your answer is yes, you might be interested in further reading. If no - pass this message on to someone who might care about the subject.

We are a happy family with three children who enjoy an untraditional way of learning math, logic and basic physics.

We put together problems on the basis of our children's school curriculum for practice and as a quality pastime with the children. In fact we have written a book of these problems, hoping that it might be a good idea to publish it later on.

Please take at least a scanning look through the problems below.

#### MATH'O'RIDDLES

1. Two groups of 12 Lower Division kids came to a Zoo for a field trip. The class gathered around a cage with 15 lazy tigers. Watching those healthy looking children the tigers got real hungry, escaped from the cage and ate some of the kids.

How many scared kids survived if each tiger's tummy can hold only 1 child?

2. 40 old ladies came to an old man's birthday party. Each and every one of those joyful ladies brought 2 combs as a gift for the old man.

How many combs did this entirely bald old man get for his birthday?

3. After a Water Conservation lecture most of the Lower Division students decided not to run the water. One half of the Lower Division came to school with dirty hands, and the other half with dirty faces.

How many students are there in the Lower Division if 190 boys and 146 girls came to school with dirty faces?

4. One rainy morning elephant Gary in a local Zoo got 35 buckets of drinking water with ice. By 3 o'clock in the afternoon he had finished the 21st bucket and decided to use the rest of the buckets to water the Zoo manager.

How much water did Gary use to please the Zoo manager on that cold and windy day?

5. Students of the 2nd grade have 44 ears. Their math teacher has 42 ears less.

How many ears are there in the classroom?

6. Suzan made 11 spelling errors in her test. Bobbie (who was peeking into her paper and copied everything) made 29 errors.

How many of his own errors did Bobbie make?

7. How many holes did Andy's mom find in the tablecloth after Andy pierced it 12 times with a 4-tooth fork?

8. A family with 2 well-behaved sisters is having a Friday night dinner at home. Their little brother is under the table: he is busy cutting one of the table's legs with a band saw. The tireless boy is working at the speed of 1/2 inch of the table's leg per minute.

How long will the dinner last if the table's leg is 3 inches thick?

9. 12 very strict teachers set up a special meeting with the purpose of scolding one troublemaker from the 2nd grade. Each teacher took 15 minutes worth of scolding the student.

How long did this unpleasant meeting last?

10. An Olympic hotdog is 75 centimeters long.

How long it will take for a gold medallist to finish the dog if he eats at the speed of 25 centimeters a minute? What about the silver and bronze medallists? They eat dogs at the speed of 15 and 10 centimeters a minute respectively.

11. Stacey's mother had a few very expensive pieces of jewelry. Stacey just learned at school that airplanes can fly. She threw half of her mom's jewelry out in a window to see if jewelry can fly and swim in the pond below.

How many pieces of jewelry flew out of the window and struggled in the water if 3 rings and 2 necklaces was all her mommy had left after the experiment?

12. Mr. Black proposed to Ms. White to marry him. She promised to think about it. She thought for 15 years and refused. Mr. Black proposed again. Ms. White was thinking 6 years longer than the first time and agreed to marry him.

How many years did Mr. Black spend hoping to get Ms. White for his wife?

Got an idea?

If you are still interested, please continue.

Problems can easily be arranged per level, topic or any other criteria.

We believe that Math'O'Riddles will help your child develop logical yet out-of-the-box thinking and have fun in the process. We also believe it may help parents spend more time with their children…

Publishing the book may or may not be a good idea. How about a Web page? Do you think we will have any subscribers?

Please take a moment and fill out a little questionnaire.

=================================

Please highlight the text from here to "Ideas?", "Cut" and "Paste" into a "New Message", fill out and send to MathORiddle@mailcity.com. Please DO NOT USE THE "REPLY" FUNCTION OF YOUR E-MAIL SOFTWARE: we are not yet equipped to receive your reply this way.

        I like your Math'O'Riddles
        I really don't care because ...
        I think a Web page is a good idea
        I don't think it's a good idea because
        I have a better name for it:
        I'm interested in
    getting involved in the project and I can:
    	___ Offer illustrations and sketches
    	___ Suggest more Math'O'Riddles
    	___ Help create the Web page
    	___ Help with graphics
    	___ Help promote your page
    	___ Help with publishing
    	___ Help financially ___ Any other comments? Suggestions? Ideas?

If you like the project please help us pull it off the ground by donating a dollar ($1, or more if you'd like) to enable us to cover part of our initial investment and expenses.

Please:

1. E-mail the questionnaire to MathORiddle@mailcity.com so we can send you more Math'O'Riddles 2. Put your cash or check along with any additional comments you may have in an envelope (make sure the cash does not show through) and mail to:

    Leo & Mary
    PO Box 2187
    Tampa, FL 33601-2187

3. As a "Thank you!" note we will e-mail to you another dozen of Math'O'Riddles within a few days upon receipt of your donation.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Leo & Mary

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    From: Michael Cook <mlc@iberia.cca.rockwell.com>
    The following is from a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon dated 3/6/91.

    Calvin: You know, I don't think math is a science, I think it's a religion.

    Hobbes: A religion?

    Calvin: Yeah.  All these equations are like miracles.  You take two
    numbers and when you add them, they magically become one NEW number!
    No one can say how it happens.  You either believe it or you don't.
    [Pointing at his math book]  This whole book is full of things that
    have to be accepted on faith!  It's a religion!

    Hobbes: And in the public schools no less.  Call a lawyer.

    Calvin: [Looking at his homework]  As a math atheist, I should be
    excused from this.

mathematics
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    From: TwistedLst (twisted_list@coollist.com)

A ten year old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school.

After the first day, the boy's parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face, and went right past them straight to his room, where he quietly closed the door.

For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room - with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room, closed the door, and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime.

This pattern continued ceaselessly until it was time for the first quarter report card.

The boy walked in with his report card -- unopened -- laid it on the dinner table and went straight to his room. Cautiously, his mother opened it, and to her amazement, she saw a bright red "A" under the subject of MATH. Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son's room, thrilled at his remarkable progress.

"Was it the nuns that did it?", the father asked. The boy only shook his head and said, "No."

"Was it the one-on-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?"

"No."

"The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?"

"Nope," said the son. "On that first day, when I walked in the front door and saw that guy they nailed to the 'plus sign,' I just knew they meant business!"

mathematics
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Boy's Life, May 1973:

    Ralph:  Dad, will you do my math for me tonight?
    Dad:    No, son, it wouldn't be right.
    Ralph:  Well, you could try.

mathematics
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    From: Very Nice Guy <ngsophus@pacific.net.sg>

Friends, Countrymen, fellow Netizens lend me your eyes:

season's greetings, peace and prosperity to all

Today in this TK session, i shall talk about something which is dear to our hearts, nostrils and intestines - namely the elusive true secret to success in Mathematics, which is a grave concern of all students, parents, principals, teachers, aunties and pet hamsters alike. Without further ado, by your leave, allow me to share with you

#### THE TRUE SECRET TO SUCCESS IN MATHEMATICS

Once upon a time in a remote island far, far away in the deep recesses of Hilbert Space, there lived a boy called BoyBoy who was having a long history of problems with mathematics in school. He also had a low self-esteem and just was not interested. As a concerned parent, his mother, called MaMa, tried all sorts of ways to encourage, coax, threaten, cajole him into performing in mathematics. This included caning, buying him expensive toys, nagging, buying him his favourite computer games, more nagging, bringing him to all the places he longed to visit, even more nagging ... etc. And all these to no avail.

BoyBoy's mother even went up to the school to talk to the school maths teacher Pierre Simon Lagrange XXIV, a recent 'A'-level graduate substitute teacher with absolutely no teaching experience at all, and asked : "What is the true secret of success in mathematics, O Wise and Erudite Teacher?". And thus spake the inexperienced relief-teacher: "Every day eat one hundred bulbs of garlic and one hundred bulbs of onions, look in the mirror and repeat the phrase 'I love Maths' one hundred times." Upon hearing this BoyBoy's mother was shocked and disillusioned. She was disappointed at the school authorities for hiring an untrained teacher who uttered such utter nonsense.

BoyBoy's mother decided to engage the services of a tutor. So she called a tuition agency, who recommended a tutor called Issac Galois XIII. This part-time tutor is an engineering graduate with some experience in teaching and charged 10 cents per month. Of course, 5 cents commission was due to the agency, at the expense of the tutor. BoyBoy's mother asked the tutor: "What is the true secret of success in mathematics, O Wise and Erudite Teacher?". And thus spake the part-time tutor: "Every day eat one hundred bulbs of garlic and one hundred bulbs of onions, look in the mirror and repeat the phrase 'I love Maths' one hundred times." Upon hearing this BoyBoy's mother was infuriated and summarily sacked the engineer. She still had to pay the 10 cents, of which 5 cents goes to the agency.

Frustrated, BoyBoy's mother thought to herself: "I shan't trust these agencies anymore. I shall look for a tutor myself." So she scoured the newspapers and soon found a tutor by the name of Stephen Gauss IX, a mathematics graduate with 1 year experience in teaching. This tutor charged $10 per month for a minimum of 12 months. A year and $120 later, BoyBoy still had no progress in mathematics and BoyBoy's mother began to feel a little panicky. So she asked the tutor: "What is the true secret of success in mathematics, O Wise and Erudite Teacher?". And thus spake the part-time tutor: "Every day eat one hundred bulbs of garlic and one hundred bulbs of onions, look in the mirror and repeat the phrase 'I love Maths' one hundred times." Upon hearing this BoyBoy's mother experienced deja vu and decided to discontinue this tutor's services.

Now BoyBoy's mother was disappointed but she did not give up. She asked among her friends for a recommendation and was soon referred to Leonhard Archimedes V, a trained full-time tutor, graduate of the world-famous Camford University with 10 years' teaching experience, charging $1000 per month for a minimum of 5 years. This tutor gave BoyBoy copious amounts of notes, summaries, tips, homework, past-year examination papers from the top schools for practice, more homework, hands-on model making, more homework, Internet explorations with Java-powered animations and 3D-VRML live demonstrations, field trips to Mathematical places, creative visualisations, mind bending exercises, IQ stretching exercises, more homework and vast array of demonstrations with exotic gadgets, curious contraptions and other paraphernalia.... This really impressed BoyBoy's mother a lot. However at the end of the 5 years, there was only marginal progress. And BoyBoy's mother began to feel rather panicky and began to wonder if this tutor was holding back any secrets. So she confronted this tutor asking: "What is the true secret of success in mathematics, O Wise and Erudite Teacher?". And thus spake the Camford-graduate tutor: "Every day eat one hundred bulbs of garlic and one hundred bulbs of onions, look in the mirror and repeat the phrase 'I love Maths' one hundred times."

Upon hearing this BoyBoy's mother was experienced cognitive dissonance. However, since the tutor was from Camford and was charging $1000 per month, he must know something, so reasoned BoyBoy's mother. Consequently she decided to give this tutor the benefit of the doubt and try out his advice. The next day after making BoyBoy eat the garlic and onions and recite the 'I love Maths' slogan as prescribed (much to BoyBoy's protest), BoyBoy's mother bundled him to school. Then everybody avoided BoyBoy, even his girl-friend of 9 years dumped him. The experience left him utterly miserable.

BoyBoy, now in his late adolescent years, felt that enough was enough and decided to assert his independence. He plucked up enough courage to speak to his mother, saying "MaMa, I think I do not need you to look for tutors for me anymore. I know the importance of being good at maths. You need not worry about me. I shall look for Carl Hawking I, the Ultimate Tutor myself." Incidentally Boyboy had learned about the Carl Hawking I, the Ultimate Tutor from his web page in the Internet. A double PhD from Stanvard University, three time Field's Medallist (mathematical equivalent of Nobel Prize), the Ultimate Tutor had 100 years' experience in teaching and had solved the Remand Hypothesis, Goldmine Conjecture and proved the Quasi-contravariant K-27-Hyperbundle Global Chromatic Embedding Theorem, all before the age of 12. Now he is meditating in some remote mountain in the upper reaches of the Continuum.

Of course BoyBoy's mother was touched. On the other hand she was worried as the journey into the Continuum was long and arduous and fraught with dangers. However BoyBoy insisted on going. Boyboy's mother wanting the best for her son, was faced with Hobson's choice. She packed lots of water and rations, instant noodles, a portable stove, herbs, tonics and ginseng before tearfully sending him away.

After crossing several oceans, traversing a few deserts, cutting through a multitude of thick jungles, trekking along meandering rivers one after another and trudging along through fields upon fields of snow, BoyBoy arrived at the foot of the Continuum. Then he began his mile-long vertical ascent of the Continuum. After reaching the summit, BoyBoy still had to spend six months locating Carl Hawking I, the Ultimate Tutor's, by which time BoyBoy was extremely exhausted, hungry, thirsty, bruised and scarred. He plodded his way to greet the Ultimate Tutor, saying : "O Master, Ultimate Tutor, I have long sought for thee and at last I have found thee. I pray thee, tell me, what is the true secret of success in mathematics, O Wise and Erudite Teacher?". The Master with a mile-long white beard, though slightly annoyed by the interruption, was impressed by BoyBoy's sincerity. And thus spake Carl Hawking I, the Ultimate Tutor: "My son, my dear son, the time is not ripe for thee to receive the answer, for thine heart is not yet purified. Go thou, wash my beard every day for ten years.". Boyboy's heart sank but he did as he was told. Daily for the next ten years Boyboy washed the Master's mile-long white beard, which was often littered with yak excrement. Yet Boyboy endured the stench, being so delighted to have found wisdom and true meaning in life. He also noted that as he washed nearer the Master, there was another kind of smell that somehow neutralised the odour of the yak excrement, but could not figure out what it was. Also occasionally, BoyBoy overheard the Master mumbling something from afar as he washed, but could not make out what it was. All these added to the intrigue and stoked the flames of curiosity burning in the young man's breast. And at the end of ten long years, BoyBoy, a man by now, could not hide his urgency when he asked: "O Master, Ultimate Tutor, I have religiously cleaned your beard for ten years daily without fail and have purified my heart. Now I beseech thee, tell me, what is the true secret of success in mathematics, O Wise and Erudite Teacher?". And thus spake the Ultimate Tutor: "Every day eat one hundred bulbs of garlic and one hundred bulbs of onions, look in the mirror and repeat the phrase 'I love Maths' one hundred times." Upon hearing this BoyBoy felt betrayed, and protested : "But, O Master, that was what all my earlier tutors said.". And thus replied the Ultimate Tutor : "If I said that in the beginning, you wouldn't have believed me, would you?".

The Moral of the Story is: Every day eat one hundred bulbs of garlic and one hundred bulbs of onions, look in the mirror and repeat the phrase 'I love Maths' one hundred times AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE COVER YOUR MOUTH!

[Disclaimer: All names mentioned herein have been inversed to protect the guilty. Any semblance to real persons or parties is purely collinear.]

mathematics
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    From: "Mr Funny Bone International" <funnybone@lineone.net>

    Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his
    mother approached she heard:
    "One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."
    "Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four."
    "Three and three... "
    His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned
    this way of doing math. Johnny remarked that his
    teacher Ms. Clara Jones taught him.
    His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the
    homework.
    The next day she approached Ms. Jones and told her
    what happened. The teacher was flabbergasted. She said
    that she couldn't understand why Johnny had said what
    he did.
    Then suddenly, Ms Jones exclaimed, "Oh, I know... here
    in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is
    two."

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    A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge
    in pill form.

    A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what
    kind of knowledge pills are available.  The pharmacist says "Here's a
    pill for English literature."  The student takes the pill and swallows
    it and has new knowledge about English literature!

    "What else do you have?" asks the student.

    "Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history,"
    replies the pharmacist.

    The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge
    about those subjects.

    Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?"

    The pharmacist says "Wait just a moment", and goes back into the
    storeroom and brings back a whopper of a pill and plunks it on the
    counter.

    "I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student.

    The pharmacist replied "Well, you know math always was a little hard
    to swallow."

mathematics
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    From: Knut Lorenzen <lorenzen@p-net.de>

The following story is true, I was a personal witness. A math-prof (his nickname was "Lord Number") was talking quite a while on "n-dimensional manifolds". He was *far* off comprehension of most of the listeners and finally adressed his audience: "So what do you think is the volume of an infinite-dimensional unit-sphere ?"

Silence. After a while a voice from the backrows: "42 !" That did it.

P.S.: Actually, this volume is zero (!).
It is inverse proportional to a Gammafunction depending on n.

mathematics
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    From:         RickT <taylor@wrex.u-net.com>

    Quotes from Maths Lessons:

    Student: What have I done wrong here?  [puzzled]
    Teacher: You have cancelled 4/9 to get 1/3
    Student: Yeah...
    Teacher: Which is well - wrong.

Hold on, I think I have just spelt that number wrong..... Yeah, that's it 0.4661 should be spelt 0.4116.....That's better.

mathematics
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    A commentary on the teaching of mathematics, sent in by James
    Jackson of Carlisle, Ind., appeared in "Echoes" (winter 1994),
    published by Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, Terre Haute, Ind.
    "Echoes" took it from the 1993-94 issue of "21st Century" (not
    otherwise identified).  The commentary takes the form of a series
    of story problems:

    In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost
    of production is four-fifths of this price.  What is his profit?

    In 1970: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost
    of production is four-fifths of this price, or $80.  What is his
    profit?

    In 1970 (new math): A logger exchanges a set L of lumber for a set
    M of money.  The cardinalitiy of set M is 100, and each element is
    worth $1.00.  Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set M.
    The set C of the costs of production contains 20 fewer points than
    set M.  Represent the set C as a subset of M, and answer the
    following question: What is the cardinality of the set P of points?

    In 1980: A logger sells a truckload of wood for $100.  His cost of
    production is $80, and his profit is $20.  Your assignment:
    underline the number 20.

    In 1990 (outcome-based education): By cutting down beautiful forest
    trees, a logger makes $20.  What do you think of this way of making
    a living?  (Topic for class participation: How did the forest birds
    and squirrels feel?)

    From: Mark Mihalasky <mjm@geol.uottawa.ca>
    In 1997 (profit-driven education): By laying off %40 of the its loggers, a
    company improves its stock price from $80 to $100.  How much capital gain
    per share does the CEO make by exercising his stock options at $80?  Assume
    capital gains are no longer taxed, because Republicans feel this encourages
    investment.

mathematics
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    From: brum@ix.netcom.com (Edward Brumgnach)

#### The Evolution of Teaching Math

Up to the 1960's
  A peasant sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price.
  What is his profit?
In the early 1970 s
  A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price, i.e., $8.
  What is his profit?
1970's (new math)
  A farmer exchanges a set P of potatoes with a set M of money. The cardinality of the set M is equal to $10 and each element of M is worth $1.
  Draw 10 big dots representing the elements of M.
  The set of production cost is comprised of 2 big dots less then the set M.
  Represent C as a subset of M and give the answer to the question: What is the cardinality of the set of profits?
1980 s
  A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His production costs are $8 and his profit is $2.
  Underline, the word "potatoes" and discuss with our classmates.
1980's (alternative math)
  A kapitalist pigg undjustlee akires $2 on a sak of patatos. Analiz this tekst and sertch for erors in speling, contens, grandmar and ponctuassion, and than ekspress your vioos regardeng this metid of geting ritch.
1990's
  A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10.00.
  His production costs are 0.80 of his revenue.
  On your calculator graph revenue versus costs.
  Run the "POTATO" program on your computer to determine the profit.
  Discuss the result with the other students in your group.
  Write a brief essay that analyzes how this example relates to the real world of economics.
From: Markus Schäfer <markus@infra.de>
Waldorfschool:
  Paint a potato while singing a song

  mathematics
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      From: avi-g@usa.net

  #### Teaching Math

  Teaching Math in 1950:
    A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
    His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
  Teaching Math in 1960:
    A logger sells a truckload of lumber for
    His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
  Teaching Math in 1970:
    A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M".
    The set "C", the cost of production, contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M" and answer the following
    question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" for profits?
  Teaching Math in 1980:
    A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. Her cost of production is $80 and her profit is $20.
    Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
  Teaching Math in 1990:
    By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20.
    What do you think of this way of making a living?
    Topic for class participation after answering the question:
    How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees?
    There are no wrong answers.
  Teaching Math in 1996:
    By laying off 40% of its loggers, a company improves its stock price from $80 to $100. How much capital gain per share does the CEO make by exercising his stock options at $80? Assume capital gains are no longer taxed, because this encourages investment.
  Teaching Math in 1997:
    A company out-sources all of its loggers. The firm saves on benefits, and when demand for its product is down, the logging work force can easily be cut back. The average logger employed by the company earned $50,000, had three weeks vacation, a nice retirement plan and medical insurance. The contracted logger charges $50 an hour.
    Was out-sourcing a good move?
  Teaching Math in 1998: A laid-off logger with four kids at home and a ridiculous alimony from his first failed marriage comes into the logging company's corporate offices and goes postal, mowing down 16 executives and a couple of secretaries, and gets lucky when he nails a politician on the premises collecting his kickback.
  Was outsourcing the loggers a good move for the company?
  Teaching Math in 1999:
    A laid-off logger serving time in Folsom for blowing away several people is being trained as a COBOL programmer in order to work on Y2K projects.
    What is the probability that the automatic cell doors will open on their own as of 00:01, 01/01/00?

  mathematics
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      From: MLCOOK@CCA.ROCKWELL.COM
      What is (15 minus three times five) plus (20 minus four times five) plus
      (36 minus nine times four) plus (72 minus nine times eight) plus (96 minus
      eight times twelve) plus (56 minus seven times eight)
      [... and on and on ...]?

      A lot of work for nothing.

      -- as told to me by my daughter Amy

  mathematics
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      From: mathwft@math.canterbury.ac.nz (Bill Taylor)

      One of my quick-witted colleagues was attending an engineering faculty
      examiners' meeting.

      An engineering prof sighed,

                "Some of our students are really abysmal at maths;
                 why, some of them can't even integrate x between 1 and 2 !"

      Quick as a flash my colleague rejoined,

                "Then why not have the exam in the morning?"

      I wonder why we don't get much co-operation from that faculty...

  next page | Index | Comments and Contributions

  #### Subsections

  - 1. mathematics - general
  - 1.1 proofs
  - 1.2 statistics and statisticians
  - 1.3 mathematicians
  - 1.4 mathematics poetry
  - 1.5 mathematics quotes
  - 1.6 mathematic puns
  - 1.7 mathematical terms
  - 1.8 mathematical exams
  - 1.9 learning mathematics
  - 1.10 mathematical tests to take
  - 1.11 mathematical equations
  - 1.12 topology
  - 1.13 numbers
  - 1.14 set theory
  - 1.15 functions

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